Enhance YOUR resilience: say no

April 11, 2023

What do you say no to?

Honestly, I didn’t even realize saying no was an option until I hit my 40s! And, at that time, it was entirely out of necessity with a growing family and a growing career. (Oh, and somewhere along there, hitting the proverbial “brick wall”!)

At that time, I thought I was the only person struggling to be “all things to everybody” but through our coaching work with clients, I’ve since learned I don’t own the patent on that one!   Learning to become comfortable with saying “no” or setting boundaries is hard, especially if you are a people-pleaser.

Through our work in emotional intelligence, I’ve learned many things, including strategies to curb frustration, the precursor emotion to that brick wall. In 2022, Forbes shared 4 Truths About the Unlikely Emotion That Precedes Professional Success. Let me share these tips, in my own words:

1. Seek clarity by asking questions.

When we are unclear about expectations of ourselves or those we think others have set for us, we begin to go around in circles, leading to increased anxiety. The best questions are open-ended: What exactly do you expect from me? What would success look like?

2. Consider a new path.

Comfort and growth never co-exist. And doing the same thing, well, that’s comfortable.

But if it is making you unhappy or zapping your resilience, it’s time to exert some influence over getting to where you want to be, or who you want to be. It starts with you.

3. Talk to someone.

Life is more complicated than ever these days. Find someone you trust and talk to them. Or, consider trying some coaching, working with one of our credentialled coaches who believes you are fully capable of achieving your goals.

Our coaches can provide a safe space for new thinking to emerge, while encouraging you and holding you accountable. Let’s face it: If you are that people-pleaser, what everyone else wants is coming first!

4. Focus on the outcome, not the obstacles.

Life is an obstacle course full of challenges and emotions. Being optimistic, hopeful and tackling those challenges may move you to something extraordinary.

If you are a new manager or leader, we want to work with you to keep that “brick wall” as far away as possible!

If you like to learn on your own, check out our self-paced program on resilience. Or, if you want a trusted confidante who will help you reach your goals more quickly, take the plunge and contact us for coaching.